gulp gulp gulp
describing my shower status on a spectrum from “spooling up” to “hot if you have a scent kink” to “past my prime”
(taken by @bark)
![doggirl standing in front of a "[no dogs symbol] in bird sanctuary" sign with a shit-eating grin](/posts/attachments/e54356e9-8d9f-42f8-87fc-2db4fd384889/PXL_20240526_075623316.MP.jpg)
i've always been a bit allergic to cats, in that if i touched one and then rubbed my eyes they'd get itchy. that's ok, just wash my hands in between. in 2018, i adopted diffie at 16 months old. look at her now. she's baby! 宝贝儿！！
one day in march 2022, something changed. i have been Very High ly allergic to diffie for just over two years now. i have been on the immunology waiting list for 22 months and counting. they have flaked on my initial consult twice and counting, pushing it back by three months each time.
i take two desloratadines a day, but even then, it flares up for days at a time. every time i touch diffie or anything she has touched, the next flareup draws closer. i am itchy in so many places. i can never sit on the couch again without paying dearly for it. i have to watch where my paws go, my clothes go, my towels go, and so does everyone i live with. forgetting to cover my pillow in the morning is a grave mistake. my nipples have bandages over them at all times. lately when things get especially bad, i'll start hacking and crackling and wheezing.
despite all that, i would say i'm getting the hang of managing it. i know how to deal with flareups, and i know how to keep myself safe. but over time, keeping myself safe grew into refusing to touch her, which grew into avoiding her, which grew into resenting her. diffie learned to find her love elsewhere, with shark. shark gets a lot more diffie than it used to, that’s a silver lining!
the other night i gave diffie a bunch of pats. she was so happy, and at the same time, so confused. by this point, i was only giving her meaningful attention like four times a year, each time while in some kind of altered state of mind.
she had forgotten what it was like to feel my affection. and i had forgotten how important she was to my wellbeing.
i forced myself to forget, so i wouldn’t get hurt.
Cheesecake is an award-winning desert with over two thousand years of experience in the food space. Adopting their household name in the fifteenth century, cheesecake has revolutionised the eating experience of millions around the world. Cheesecake's newest form — baked — is now available in supermarkets, bakeries and online.
shuppy’s newest form — baked — is much more relaxed and comfortable, especially in the bedroom, but it can be prone to asking silly questions or snowballing its worries
and now i bark like pochita
hey how'd you get so cute huh
might be the happiness that comes from seeing you ^w^
i wonder how many people have realized that the hex numbers in my bio are the unicode codepoints for &ΘΔ lol
i wonder how many people have realised that the 🏳️‍⚧️ in my bio is a mojibake trans flag
my real no thoughts head empty arc.
day 1: not too bad, pretty lethargic but i watched wtyp for most of it and even managed to cook
day 2: very very tired and almost impossible to read any long prose, bad sensory time until i had some weed, but hey, i managed to brush my teeth
day 3: better, psych day, cooked again, and played and beat parappa the rapper
day 4: about the same, played and beat parappa 2, cooked yet again, and went to the pharmacy
day 5: better again, christmas with @ariashark and kk9
day 6: about the same, more christmas with kk9, though playing jackbox i felt like paul erdős staring at a blank piece of paper that one time
day 7 (low dose v50+d5): excellent, really recaptured the magic of amfetamine! cooked chicken and rice, redid the barrier spray, and played a bunch of osu and valorant
day 8 (low dose v70): not exceptional but still good, cooked bolognese, built keyboards with aria, and played some more osu with said keyboard
day 9 (low dose v70): about the same, built an oscilloscope, washed bedding, and watched knives out with aria
overall another successful tolerance reset, such that 70 mg lisdexamfetamine is more than enough for me again, and easier than last year too!
my real no thoughts head empty arc.
