stimulant holiday 2023

(2022, 2021)

day 1: surprisingly lucid despite the low energy. the lack of stimulants unleashed a baseline of uhh, feelings(💦) that i wasn’t expecting and made it a lot harder for me to go out to the shops. got stoned and fell asleep at like 18:30.

day 2: very lethargic. written words slide off the folds of my smooth brain as if i had snorted a line of teflon. that said, i managed to cook something simple, fix the shower drain, and brush my teeth. first half only the mildest of a bad sensory time, second half oh god augh i can feel everything so loud and hear everything so loud and my legs are itching so loud and everything is so loud and everything is touching me and everything needs to f̷̧̡̳̹͕̤̝̹̬̳͖͗̓̍͜ú̵̜̠͖̩̪͇̱c̸̨̮̯̹̾̊̑͒͝ķ̸͓̻̪͕̗̐̒͗ ̸̡̨̺͇̥̯̗̥̣͖̩̓͜ȏ̴̜̪̝̠̳̱͙̅̏̀̚ͅf̵̜͉̥̪̩̿͌̿̑ͅͅͅf̶̪̫̙͎̰͛̅̆͠

day 3: pretty good to start with. reorganised the pantry, took shark to get its bloods done (with questionable driving ability), and did the groceries (with great difficulty). but as for the second half, see day 2.

day 4: comfy day, i didn’t try to push myself too hard. watched videos and wiggled with peb for most of it, but 13 hours into my day i started falling off mental and mood cliffs over and over until i was just foggy and cranky.

day 5: dad groaning with every step i take to cope with how difficult everything is. i went to bunnings, washed the bedding, took a shower, and brushed my teeth. that's about all i had energy for.